New America Media, Commentary, Eming Piansay, Posted: Apr 26, 2011

After covering the San Francisco International Film Festival for nearly five years, I've come to accept the fact that being an obscure writer for a non-profit news service is pretty much like being the last person who gets picked for kickball. You aren't the strongest player; they don't really need you. But you bring a few people to cheer for you in the audience who typically wouldn't be there.

Through the annual festival, I've seen a wide range of films, met a variety of up-and-coming actors and really gotten to try my hand at being a film critic.

In previous years, when I've inquired about getting access to the festival’s Midnight Awards, that honors the work of one young actor and actress, the press person's mouth forms into a compressed elongated arrow and their eyes roll to the side of their head. They follow that up with something about ticket availability. Otherwise translated into, "Those tickets are reserved for the important press people." Again, something I've gotten accustomed to. I look like I'm younger than I really am, so it isn't hard to believe that letting me into their event would shed some serious "professional brownie points" on their side.

So when I got the email that there was a ticket available, I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. Rubbing elbows with the stars? There wasn't a point in asking me... Just gimme!

Actors Zoe Saldana (Avatar, Star Trek, Center Stage) and Clifton Collins Jr. (Star Trek, Capote, Traffic, The Replacement Killers) were being honored Saturday night at the W Hotel in San Francisco.

I didn't have any particular expectations when the press person directed me to the proverbial red carpet, which was actually purple. I was just happy to be there. However, the longer we waited for Zoe and Clifton to show up, the more I was pushed down the line until I wasn't even behind the "barricade" rope separating the carpet and the reporters. I fumed a little but said nothing. Again, who am I to say something?

As I got the leftover shots the "pros" left behind, I slowly made my way into the event, where I started to take some shots of the setup.

Then, one of the press ladies began talking to me in a way that I can only be described as being talked to like when I was caught with a NanoPet in high school.

"I don't know how you got in here, but...."

Before she could even finish her sentence, I pulled my ticket into view like she was a bouncer at a club and wanted to see my ID.

"Oh... you have a ticket? Well, you can't take press pictures in here."

It was a rather simple request, but the tone of her voice and glaring look made me feel like I wasn't so much holding a $900 camera, but a cookie that I had stolen from the jar.

I stood there for like a good minute, feeling like an idiot for not knowing this information beforehand. And feeling like an even bigger idiot for wasting a Saturday night trying to film an event that I wasn’t allowed to shoot.

As I tried to enjoy the Q&A session with Zoe and Clifton, all I could really think about was how backwards this was. Here we were, celebrating young up-and-coming actors, while at the same time making the youngest reporter on the scene feel less than two inches tall. It left a sour taste in my mouth about the whole "independent film spirit" bit.

Though Zoe was clearly the headline name for the event, everything she said felt like a pre-rehearsed step dance that only looks good if you're really, really attractive. Clifton, on the other hand, being the lesser known of the two, used that to his advantage by talking very off-the-cuff in a way that would land most celebrities on TMZ. Clifton talked about why he had changed his name so many times; for about 10 years he had his grandfather's last name in order to give respect to the older generations.

If you asked anyone off the record which celebrity they found more interesting, if you compared a laundry list of Avatar set stories to Clifton's stories of his grandfather starring in Westerns way back when, I'd suspect substance would win over style hands down. Too bad the same can't be said about the press event.